


Without you, I wouldnt be here at all.

by Frnk



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Best Friends, M/M, Trans Character, Trans Frank Iero
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2019-02-08 20:07:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12872043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frnk/pseuds/Frnk
Summary: Lots of weed and alcohol plus fast moving plot. Mentions of suicide and drug abuse.





	Without you, I wouldnt be here at all.

I stared up at the stars, my thigh pressed tight against Gerards as he passed me the joint.

"Im so high" I snorted and looked over

"Good shit huh?"i grinned and he smiled

"Fuck yes, you staying over?" I looked back to the stars, loving how they twinkled

"Yeah G"i whispered and he hummed

"Ever get when your high and your horny but you cant be bothered to do anything about it?"i added and he laughed "Nah, i just want to sleep"he said and i nodded

"We got ice cream?"

He frowned and shook his head 

"You assholes getting high without me?"

I smiled up at Mikey, shrugging and passing the joint 

 "No"Gerard lied and i snorted, rolling over to throw my arm over him

"Hey dickhead, youre to warm"he groaned, pushing it off. I snorted and climbed on top of him, 

"Youre gay as fuck"he said and i snorted 

"You love it"i said, squishing my face into his neck. He moved his hand to my back, rubbing small circles before i felt my eyes get heavy

"Do not fall asleep, i can not move your fat ass off me"he said and i snorted, blowing a raspberry on his neck before getting off 

"Dont think about it iero"mikey said and i groaned 

"Some day ill get a hunk of a boyfriend and you guys can fuck off"i mumbled and Gerard snorted 

"Sorry Frank"he hummed and i sighed, taking the joint to take the last pull out of it before throwing it behind me 

"18 man, how the fuck am i 18?"i said

"Because youve been on this world for 18 years dipstick"Mikey said and i snorted 

"I never thought id make it"i whispered and gerard moved his hand to squeeze my wrist 

"Well make sure you make it, every year asshole"Mikey said and i grinned 

"My heros"

Gerard snorted and took his hand away

"Some day, youll be this kick ass dude who forget binders even excist"he whispered 

"Maybe"i sighed before rolling back on top of him

"Wont sleep, promise"i whispered and his hand came into my hair, rubbing my scalp 

"Okay Frank"he whispered and i sighed, closing my eyes and pushing into his hand when he stopped moving. He snorted and started again

"Best friends forever"i mumbled and he snorted 

"Because noone else will let you cuddle, i know how it goes"he whispered and i grinned 

"You guys are gay as fuck, just bang already"mikey mumbled

"Okay get your pants off"i joked and Gerard snorted 

"Would you guys ever bang?"mikey added 

"Why would we do that?"gerard mumbled 

"Obviously close enough to"

I snorted 

"Thats the best reason ever mikey way. Would you bang me? Im close enough"i grinned 

"No offence but if i ever touch a vagina i may puke"

I laughed and shrugged 

"Maybe post op"he offered and i snorted 

"Cant wait"i hummed before soft hands pushed up under my tshirt 

"Gee, cold"i whined 

"Thats the point youre warm"he whispered and i snorted. He ran his fingers up my back 

"What about my head?"i whined and he snorted 

"What about food?"he said 

"That sounds good"i said,  shifting until his hands pulled out and i rolled off 

"Gerards buying pizza"mikey said 

"I would argue but pizza sounds good "he whispered and pulled out his phone to order online. I curled into mikey

"Youre boney"

"Its so you wont cuddle"mikey snorted and i whined, rolling over to gerard again 

"Dibs not going to the door"he said 

"Dibs!"

"Fuck"mikey mumbled and i giggled, shoving my hands up gerards hoodie 

"Frank, you know i hate that"he whined 

"I love your belly"i whispered, pushing my finger tips into it lightly. He giggled and i grinned 

"You think ill ever get a boyfriend?"i whispered 

"Yeah"he hummed softly

"You think hell let me cuddle all the time?"

He snorted 

"Dont know Frank, i dont cuddle enough?"

"You do, but youll get a boyfriend and then im fucked"

He snorted and brought his hand into my hair 

"Not planning on it frankie"he whispered and i sighed happily, leaning back into his hand. 10 minutes later the pizza came and we all headed to Gerards room, eating it quickly as we watched Family Guy. I lit a cigarette sighing against the filter before i got under Gerards duvet

"Tired"i whispered and gerard glanced back, i held out my hand for him to take and he took it, squeezing softly. I shut my eyes and ignored Gerard and Mikey before Gerard let go of my hand. I whined and he climbed under the blankets, then i noticrd Mikey was gone 

"Why are you sleeping in a hoodie?"i whispered and he frowned 

"Ive gained weight"

"I like your stomach, dont be weird"

"Frank"he sighed 

"Okay, okay"i whispered

"Can you spoon me?"

"Sure frankie"he whispered and shuffled up to curl behind me, i took his hand bringing it up to hold against my chest 

"Thanks Gee"

He hummed softly and i passes out quickly. When i woke up, gerard was still tight behind me and i sighed, closing my eyes again 

"Morning Frankie"he whispered 

"Hi gee"i squeezed his hand

"Want to go to the mall?"he whispered 

"Uh"i whispered before shaking my head 

"Ill hold your hand, its okay, itll be quiet enough"he whispered 

"Promise youll hold me hand?"

"Yes Frankie, you want to bind today?"

I nodded and sighed 

"It should be dry ill get it"

"Thanks g"i whispered and he hummed, getting up. I sat up and pulled on my jeans and socks and shoes before he handed me the binder, i went into the bathroom to finish getting dressed before i went out again, lifting gerards massive hoodie and pulling it on. By the time we got to the mall my hands were already shaking, i hate loud places with lots of people unless im high, i got out and  tried to light a cigarette and sighing when my hands shook to much, gerard lit it for me 

"Ill be right here, you got your earphones?"

I shook my head and he pulled out his phone with the earphones wrapped around 

"Put them on frank"

I plugged them in my ears, unlocking Gerards phone before pressing play. I held up a thumb before finishing my smoke, taking gerards hand as we walked in. Gerards other hand came up to push my hood up and i relaxrd slightly. I held on tight to gerards hand as he walked to starbucks, waiting in the line. He poked me and i pointed to the black coffee pot. Once we got our cups to go, we walked to the usual art supply store and i sighed at the emptyness, pulling out the earphones

"Okay if i let go?"he whispered and i nodded, letting go. He puck up a basket, getting all the supplys he needed before going to the till. I walked up behind him, laying my head on his back 

"Hey sweetheart, back so soon?"

I peaked over gerards shoulder to the man 

"Yeah, getting alot more paintings to do these days, cant complain"gerard said 

"Ever considered my offer for a date?"the guy said and i frowned, stepping forward to take Gerards hand. He raised an eyebrow at me 

"Still no, Josh. No time"Gerard smiled and Josh looked at me 

"Are you taken already?"

"No, im not"he said 

"200 bucks. Can shove in a discount if you agree to a date"josh smiled and gerard snorted 

"Nah man its cool"Gerard let go of my hand to get his wallet, handing over the money. He took the two bags 

"Thanks Josh. See you next week"

"Bye cutie"

I took one of gerards back to grip his hand, i glanced back as we were walking out to see Josh staring at Gerards ass.

"What was that about?"he said

"What?"

"Being possessive"

"You said you were dating"

"Im not planning on it, doesnt mean i dont get asked out"he said 

"Hes a creep, he stared at your ass the whole time we walked out"i mumbled and Gerard snorted 

"Thats what people do, okay, noones happy about it"he said 

"But when i do decide to date, i dont need you scaring them away"

"He was an asshole, i did you a favour"i mumbled trying to take a drink out of my cup. Gerard snorted. We walked to the main part of the mall and i flinched 

"I need new jeans Frankie"he said and i frowned 

"Okay"i mumbled, letting him pull me in to hot topic. The music was loud which i was glad, ignoring everybody as i finally let go of Gerards hand to look at the hoodies. I ran my hand over a plain black flag one, with only the name and logo on it.

"You should get it"

I snorted and looked at Gerard 

"Me and my money"i whispered

"Get your size ill buy it for you, its half price"he hummed 

"Gee no"

"Im getting it, so unless you want me to get the wrong size pick"he said before going into the changing rooms. I puck uo the biggest before going in to try it on 

"Looks good"gerard smiled as he came out 

"Youre the best"i whispered 

"True"he grinned 

"What do you think?"

I looked at the plain black skinny jeans 

"Looks good G"i smiled amd he hummed 

"Up another size, fuck my life"he mumbled 

"Shut up"i whispered before gerard got changed again. I changed my hoodie, handing it to him before picking up the bag again. Gerard paid before he offered me his hand again. I squeezed his fingers and smiled. 

"Gerard, hey gerard!"

He turned 

"Bert shit hey man"gerard let go to hug him, 

"God i miss you"bert said 

"You got a new guy? Finally got someone to settle you down Way"Bert laughed and Gerard scratched his neck

"Best lay i ever had, youre one lucky fucker"Bert smiled at me and i frowned, pushing past him to walk out of the mall. I lit a cigarette 

"Youre acting like a jealous boyfriend ands its really starting to piss me off" Gerard said 

"How many peoplr have you fucked?"i snapped and he raised an eyebrow 

"Excuse you?"

"Fucking sleeping around, huh?" I spat 

"Whats it to you?"he growled 

"Get the fuck in thr car"

"No, ill walk"i muttered

"Fine, whatever might just go sleep around, youre just fucking jealous because you scare all the guys off"

I took a step back, opening my mouth to reply before shutting it 

"Gerard"i finally whispered and he sighed 

"I can sleep with whoever the hell i want frank"

"Yeah, ofcourse you can"i sighed and rubbed my head 

"Im sorry"

He sighed 

"Just get in the car, frank"

I nodded and got in, belting up.

"How do i scare guys off?"i whispered after five minutes of silence 

"I didnt mean it"

"You did, tell me so i can make it better"

"Youre clingy, thats okay, but guys dont want that most of the time"

I nodded 

"And you always need to be touched, which is you and thats okay, but dont jump right into it"

"So basically just me?"i said and he sighed 

"Frank, youre a wonderful guy. Someone will come along and love those things about you"he said and i shrugged

"Sorry for fighting with you, its not my place"

He nodded and sighed 

"I need to stop at the comic book store okay?"

I nodded and looked out the window. When we got there, he offered me his hand 

"Im okay"i whispered and he nodded, pushing open the door. 10 minutss later gerard was leaving with a couple new comics and he put them in his bags as i got in 

"You coming to mine?"

"Sure"i whispered and he hummed, the rest of the night i tried to not touch Gerard at all. Succeding until he climbed into bed to spoon me 

"No im okay"i mumbled 

"Youre being stubborn, whatever"gerard sighed before turning around to his back to me. I lay awake for two hours before i sat up, grabbing my jeans and rolling a joint. I got up, going to sit in the back garden. I lit up, taking a long drag and holding it in my lungs 

"Frankie?"

I looked over at Gerard and he shuffled out through the patio doors. A duvet lay around his shoulders and he sat down, putting it over my shoulders aswell 

"Whats wrong Frank?"he whispered and i took another drag 

"Youre right, i cant fucking sleep without touching you"i whispered 

"Frankie i didnt mean you had to stop touching me, i like it okay?"he whispered and i took another drag before offering him it. He took it 

"How am i going to manage when you get a boyfriend?"

"You dont have to stop touching me"he whispered 

"Sure ill climb into bed after sex to cuddle you"i snorted and he smiled 

"Frank that was art school, it was just bert, i never slept with anyone else"he whispered 

"You dont have to explain yourself"

He hummed softly 

"I know i dont"he nodded and passed me the joint, he slid his arm around my waist, laying his head on my shoulder 

"Im such a weirdo"i whispered 

"Who cant go a day without touching someone?"

"Its okay, it makes you you Frank"he whispered and i sighed, shrugging  

"Okay"i whispered and he hummed

"Youll find someone frankie, promise"

I sighed and shrugged 

"Its not looking hopeful"i whispered 

"Im such a fuck up and then the trans thing is thrown in the mix"

He sighed

"I promise you, theres someone out there who doesnt care about that at all"

"Yeah? Like who?"i mumbled taking a drag of the joint 

"Like me"

I coughed on the exhale, bending over my knees to try and catch my breath. I sucked in a shaky breath as Gerard robbed the joint

"You smoke to much"he mumbked, inhaling 

"You like me?"i asked and he snorted 

"Big revelation"he laughed 

"No like seriously?"

"Yeah"he whispered and i stared at him, trying to figure out if he was joking. He blew smoke into my face 

"Lets go to bed, its like 4 am"he whispered and i nodded, he got up and helped me up, i wiped off my pj pants before following him in to the bedroom. He curled up behind me again and i relaxed into it, gripping his hands tightly before i was asleep in minutes. I woke up and gerard was typing on his laptop

"Morning Frank"

I hunmed,turning so i could push my face into his thigh

"Whatcha doing?"

"Some woman wants a painting of a tree, emailing her"

I nodded and pressed my face in more 

"You tryna get absorbed or what?"he giggled and i nodded

"Hungry"

"Two secs ans well go upstairs"

I nodded and got up the go into the bathroom. When i went out, gerard was getting changed. He paused, reaching for his hoodie quickly before i pulled it away, pressing my face into his chest, my hands holding his hips

"Frankie"he whispered 

"I like your body, stop being weird about it"i whispered 

"Youre weird about yours"

"Not because of my weight"

He sighed and wrapped his arms around my shoulders

"I like you too, you know"

He hummed, lacing one if hus hands through my hair and rubbing my scalp gently 

"Honestly, the jealous boyfriend act gave that away"

I snorted and squeezed his hip 

"Youre so cuddly now, i love it"i whispered and he snorted 

"Stop being weird, okay?"

"Okay"he whispered i pulled away and he pulled on his hoodie, walking up the stairs. I followed and grinned at the smell of coffee, pouring out two mugs as gerard got bowls 

"Morning boys"donna smiled 

"Hey Donna, day off?"

"Finally"she laughed and i smiled. Gerard handed me cereal 

"Were out of almond milk, remind me"

I nodded and took a spoonful

"What are you boys at today?"

"I gotta go get a new canvas, order in for three days from now"

"We gotta tackle the mall again?"i whined and he snorted 

"Yeah, sorry"

"Throw me home before it, you need to work anyway"

"Because ive never worked with your annoying ass here before"

I stuck out my tongue 

"How about you donna?"i smiled

"Going shopping"she grinned and i smiled 

"Then getting my nails done! So excited to finally be off"she said and i nodded

"Enjoy it"

"Thanks sweetheart"

"Can you get any further up my moms ass?"Mikey said and i snorted 

"Hes a sweet boy, leave him be"Donna hushed and i grinned, finishing my cereal. 

"Hey who owns the black flag hoodie can i have it?"mikey said 

"Mine"i grinned and he frowned 

"Fuck you"he mumbled. I waved my cigarettes at gerard before going outside, sitting down on the steps. He sat down next to me 

"Dont go home"

"I dont want a repeat of the mall"i whispered and he hummed 

"Bert wont be there today though, just josh whos easy enough to deal with"

"Yeah, for you"i snorted and he pushed his shoulder against mine, lighting a cigarette before offering his hand. I laced my fingers with his, staring out into the neighbour hood. 

"Fucking gaaay"mikey sang as he walked past us to the car

"Where are you going? I need it"

"Fucking drop me at Rays then"he sighed 

"10 minutes"Gerard hummed and mikey nodded, going back inside 

"Poor mikey just wants to get laid"

"I dont get why theyre hiding it though"Gerard said and i shrugged 

"Scared itll fuck up the group"i whispered looking down at our joined hands 

"It doesnt have to"he said 

"But it might"i added and he nodded, his thumb rubbing over mine 

"We wont let that happen"he whispered and i looked up at him, sucking my lip between my teeth. 

"Youre paranoid"he whispered and i shrugged 

"You guys are my family"i whispered and he nodded 

"And that wont change, no matter what happens with us or them"

I nodded and looked back at our hands. I pulled it into my lap, pressing it against my stomach before i finished my smoke. We went downstairs, changing quickly before going back upstairs

"Lets go"he called to mikey as i pulled on my black flag hoodie. I pushed up my hood 

"Here frankie"he handed me his phones and earphones again before getting in the car. I followed, sitting upfront and Mikey in the back. We dropped Mikey off 

"Ill text yoy"he said and gerard hummed, pulling out from the curb 

"Wonder how long theyll hide it"

Gerard shrugged 

"Its been like 4 months already"he said and i nodded, unlocking Gerards phone to flick through the songs. We parked up and i shoved in my earphones, getting out and taking Gerards hand as soon as he was next to me. When we got into the art store, josh smirked

"Knew you couldnt resist me babe"

Gerard squeezed my hand before letting go, goijg over to the canvases and picking up a large one, touching it. He hummed and flipped it over, checking it wasnt damaged before walking to the counter 

"Missed me?"

"Ha. Sure"Gerard said taking out his wallet 

"50 dollars or 35 and a date"

"Theres 50"Gerard said as i pressed my head into his back 

"Can i get a reciept too?"

"With my number on it?"Josh smirked 

"No, just the reciept"Gerard said

Josh laughed and nodded, handing it over before gerard shoved it in his wallet, taking the canvas 

"Bye gorgeous"he smirked and gerard through his arm over my shoulder, i didnt even look back walking out the door just shoved my earphones in my ear. Gerard put it in the back seat as i struggled to light a cigarette 

"Fuck"i snapped and he lit it 

"Hes a fucking pushy asshole, who the fuck doesnt give the fuck up? He may-" 

"Frankie"Gerard whispered and i sighed, kicking the curb 

"Its disrespectful"i said and he shrugged 

"Its okay"he whispered and i sighed, leaning against the door 

"I want to punch him in his stupid grinning face"

A soft hand was placed on my neck and i leaned into it, looking up to meet gerards eyes. He pressed a soft kiss to my forehead and i sighed, relaxing into it 

"Lets go, ive so much work to do its insane"he whispered, pulling away to steal my cigarette. I grinned and got in the car, buckling my seat belt. Gerard got in and pulled out before offering me his hand, i grinned and took it. He didnt let go until we were home, using the space inbetween our palms to change gears. He went downstairs as i went into the kitchen, filling up two mugs before going downstairs and setting his on the desk

"Thanks frankie"

I turned on the xbox before sitting on the bed, setting my cup on the floor. I zooned out as i played, focusing on killing all the zombies in Dead Island. Gerard sighed and lay on the bed after a while

"Hands cramping already"he whined and i paused my game to lie down on top of him, pressing my face to his neck. He giggled softly, moving his hand into my hair

"Okay frank?"he whispered and i nodded

"Im okay"i whispered, my hands pushing up his top so i could touch skin. 

"5 minutes then i gotta paint again"

I nodded and he moved my hand to my back, pushing under the binder to rub small circles there. I shut my eyes, sighing against his skin before pressing a kiss behind his ear 

"Dont fall asleep"he whispered and i giggled

"Trying"i whispered, pressing my nose into his skin. 

"After i finish some of the painting we can get drunk as fuck as laugh at old horror movies"

I grinned 

"Deal"i whispered, rolling off him so he could get up. I sat up again to unpause my game zooning on as i focused again, not paying attension until a few hours later when gerards bedroom door opened. I lookdd uo and Mikey and Ray 

"We wanted to get drunk"ray held up a vodka bottle and i grinned

"That was our plan too"gerard snorted setting down his paintbrush to hlgive ray disposable cups. Ray handed me a drink a few minutes later and i took a big mouthful, sighing happily as i unpaused the game. 2 cups later Gerard finally put down his paintbrush and lifted his cup, sinking it in one go 

"Show off"i said and he snorted, pouring a fresh drink and topping up mine 

"You got paint on your face"

He shrugged and sat down next to me, talking to Ray before i tackled him on the bed, kneeling over his hips so i could scrap the paint off

"Youre so lucky my cup was empty"he snorted and i held his chin, picking the paint with my fingernail before rubbing it off and letting go 

"Are yoy actually straddling his waist right now?"Mikey snorted and i hummed, meeting gerards eyes who smirked, i shuffled off blushing as Mikey cracked up

"Fucking gay"Mikey sang and i took a drink

"Everyone in this room is gay, Mikeyway"

"Yeah true"he snorted and i finished my drink, handing it to Gerard to refill. 

"So anything new?"Ray hummed 

"Nah, usual shit man"Gerard hummed as i leaned into him 

"Okay put on some movies"i grinned before going into the bathroom. I tore of my hoodie and top, taking of the binder before putting on the tshirt again before changing my jeans to pjs. I walked out, dumping the clothes in a pile as i climbed under the blanket.

Gerard got in beside me, offering his hand and i grinned. 3 drinks later i was drunk, climbing into gerards lap so i could have either leg on the side of his thighs. I hugged him tight and he brought his knees up slightly, his fingers going under my top. 

"Okay?"

I nodded and grinned, pulling back slightly to look at him. 

"Drunk"

He snorted and nodded 

"I guessed"he whispered and i stuck out my tongue, pulling myself forward slightly

"Ah ah dont do that"he whispered quietly before i felt him harden 

"Oh oh my god im sorry, sorry"

I got of his lap quickly and he snorted 

"Its okay"he whispered. Ray and Mikey got up

"Search for food"mikey whined before going upstairs again 

"Sorry"i whispered and he snorted

"Seriously its fine frankie, come back come on"he opened his arms and i crawled into his lap again, pressed my face into his cheek 

"Hey frankie?"he whispered and i hummed

"I really want to kiss you"he whispered, i straightened up to look at him

"So kiss me"i whispered, he put his hand on my neck pulling me close before there were footsteps on the stairs and i groaned, prrssing my forehead to his before climbing off 

"We caved and ordered take away, my treat"Ray snorted and i grinned. By the time Mikey and ray left for bed, gerard curled up close behind me, placing a wet kiss on my shoulder before i was asleep. I woke up to Gerard in boxers with dripping wet hair 

"Gerard way showered?"i said and he stuck up the finger, he towel dried his hair before climbing back into bed, spooning up close to me again 

"Tired"i whispered, turning round to press my face into his chest and spread my hands over his stomach. 

"Go back to sleep Frankie"he whispered 

"Have to pee"

He laughed and let go of me so i could get up, after i used the bathroom i rinsed my mouth with mouthwash, staring in at my face in the mirror before sighing, going into the room again 

"So many spots"i whined and he snorted, pulling me close again. I pressed my forehead against his, bringing my hand up to run my fingers through his wet hair. 

"Im gonna kiss you now, okay?"he whispered and i bit my lip

"Okay"i whispered, i shut my eyes as he tilted his head slightly; pressing a soft kiss to my lips. My stomach got butterflys beforeI pressed back, opening slightly to suck his lip between mine, moving my hand to his neck as he moved up on his elbow so he could kiss back properly. I licked at his lip, pushingbmy tongue in when he opened up. He moaned quietlg, his hand pushing up my hoodie to my hip as we kissed, i didnt pull back until i needed air, pressing his forehead together

"Does it always feel like thatt?"i whispered 

"No with anyone else"he whispered, spreading his fingers over my hip. I kissed him again, moaning when the butterflys returned and thread my fingers through his hair. 

"Boys you up?"

I pulled away and sat up

"Yeah mom"Gerard said before the door opened 

"Hi boys, im just heading to work now okay?so lock the doors and be careful"

"Kay mom"

"Mikey annd rays cooking breakfast so if you boys could go up so mikey doesnt burn the place down, id appricate it"

"No problem Donna. Have a good day at work"i grinned as she shut the door

"Nobody wants us to make out"

I snorted and got up, walking up to thr kitchen and pouring out a mug of coffee 

"Ohh pancakes"i grinned 

"Your weird ones are in the oven"

I kissed mikeys cheek who groaned, taking the plate and sitting down to pour syrup on it. Gerard came up dressed a minute later, grabbing a pancake of the plate 

"Hot"he whined after taking a bite and i snorted

"Can you drop me home after?"

"Why are you going home?"he frowned

"My momll think im dead and i havent showered in like a week, its gross"

"Will you be back?"

"For bed yeah"i nodddd and he hummed, sitting down across from me

"Anyone else hungover as hell?"Ray whined and i snorted

"Nah"i said and grinned leaning into ray. He put his arm around my shoulder

"Hows your anxiety doing?"hw asked and i shrugged

"Malls are hard, im improving tho"i said and he squeezed my shoulder before letting go. After breakfast i pulled on my misfits hoodie and grabbed my binder, folding it up before pulling on my shoes

"Yiu sure you cant stay?"

I looked up 

"Its only for a few hours"i whispered and he nodded 

"Its just weird timing?"he offered and i got up, wrapping my arms around his chest to hug him

"I swear its not related, im just weird about showering you know that"

He nodded and kissed my forehead, i looked up, pressing our lips together 

"I wont ever get use to the sparks"he snorted and i grinned, kissing him again softly before letting go. It was only a five minutes drive  to mine and i got out

"Call me when you need a lift Frankie"

I nodded and winked before going inside

"Hi mom"

"Frank"she nodded and i sighed, going upstairs to shower and change. After i was all clean i finally felt human, walking downstairs 

"Anything new?"

"You abandonrd me for a week"she muttered

"I was at gerards mom, you work full time anyway"

She sighed 

"I like knowing your safe"

"Gerard keeps me safe"i ssid and she nodded 

"Fine dont do it again i missed you"mom sighed and i nodded 

"Okay mama"

Gerard puck me up at 8 and i jumped into the car, gripping onti his hand 

"Okay?"

I ran up fingers up his arm and nodded, rolling my shoulders 

"Its been long day"i whispered trailing my fingers down his arm and over his palm 

"Okay Frankie, i got most of my word done, we can cuddle okay?"

"Okay okay"i let go so he could pull out, i moved my hand  over to his thigh, just so i could be touching him. He slid his hand down to hold mine before pulling into his house. I climbrd over onto his lap and he laughed, pushing his chair back si i could hug him, his hands slid up my hoodie, pushing his fingers under the binder

"Frankie were like 20 feet from my bed"

"Its getting worse gee"i whispered 

"Hey hey youre okay"he whispered and i sighed 

"Wanna get high as hell?"

"Sure frankie"he whispered, i moved my head to look at hun before kissing him. He moad softly, moving his hands to my neck to deepen the kiss, i moved closer, pressing tighting against hun before he moaned, shifting against me.

"Shit im sorry we gotta stop"gerard pulled bac

"Yeah okah"i nodded and bit my lip 

"Just, just dont move for a second okay?"he shut his eyes and leaned his head back. I shifted against him and he moaned loudly 

"Frankie"he whispered, opening his eyes to look at me, i leaned forward to kiss him again, fast and rough, his hands moved down to my hips then down my my ass making me grind against him. Then suddenly the door was opened and i toppled out, pulling Gerard with me with a scream 

"Oh my god"mikey said and gerard groandd, his face against my chest 

"Think i broke my dick fuck"gerard groaned 

"Where you two seriously making out? I just needed a lift!"mikey said and i let out a breath, my head aching 

"Are you okay?"he whispered, kneeling up and pulling me to sit up

"No"i whispered 

"Im sorry! I swear i only wanted a lift! I didnt know frank was there or fucking fucking in the car!"

"We were fucking, its fine"i said and got up, lifting a cigarette and offering a hand to pull me up

"Where you goinf Mikey?"

"Rays, im so sorry"he said and i waved my hand

"Ill drop him off, theres grass in my bottom drawer roll a couple"

I leaned up to kiss him

"Have fun mikeyway"i hummed going inside. By the time i had rolled two, G was back

"You sure your okay?"he asked and i nodded 

"Yeah"i hummed, going upstairs. I grabbed a beer, going outside as Gerard followed. I lit one, inhailing deep. I sighed as i blew out, leaning against him

"Hows your dick?'

He snorted 

"Itll recover"he whispered, taking the joint to take a pull. I nodded and smiled. 2 joints later we were in bed with popcorn, watching a terrible fucking movie. I had my head in gerards lap ad his fingers ran through my hair. I sucked the butter off my fingers, reaching for more and and shoving them in my mouth. Gerards breathed hitched as i sucked my fingers in again 

"Perv"i said around them, he snorted 

"Shut up"he mumbled

"Tired frankie"he whispered and i reachdd over to turn the tv off, putting the bowl on the ground and getting into bed, he curled up behind me putting his hands up my tshirt onto my stomach before i fell asleep. I woke up to a hand on my breast under my tshirt and i froze, unable to move 

"Gerard'

He didnt reply and i took a deep breath

"Gerard"

"Hmm?"a sleepy reply came 

"Your hand...i feel like im gonna puke, please move it"i whispered and he paused before pulling it out 

"Oh my god im so sorry! Shit frank i swear i was sleeping oh god im terrible i fucking felt you up in my sleep!"

I pulled the blankets up, letting out a breath 

"Accident Gee its okay"i whispered 

"Im sorry oh god i feel terrible frankie please dont hate me"

I reached behind for his arm holding it and pulling it against mg chest 

"Go back to sleep gee, was an accident"i hummed closing my eyes. He kissed behind my ear before i was asleep again. Gerard was sat at rhe end of the bed smoking when i woke up. I sleepily sat up, reaching for his mug 

"I feel terrible"he whispered

"Why?"i hummed after a mouthful 

"Last night"

I snorted 

"You were sleeping and i probably moved anyway, seriously its okay"i said handing it back to rake the cigarette of him

"Its not okay"he whispered and i shuffled closer, taking hos hand and placing it on my chest

"See? Its okay. I was half asleep and shocked, its okay"

He let his hand drop when i took mine away, blushing 

"Okay"

"You gonna come cuddle now?"

He nodded and crawled into bed with me, setting the cup down as i climbed on top of him. His hands ran up my back before soft kisses were placed on my head. I turned his head wirh my palm, pressing our mouths together softly before deepening in, moaning as i shuffled on top of him. His hands stayed on my hips as i pushed mine into his hair, tugging lightly to adjust his head. He moaned, his thumbs pushed under my top, rubbing against the skin. I moved my hands to hold both his, pinning them above his head gently so i could still lean over and kiss him 

"Frankie"he whispered and i pulled back to look at him. Puples blown and mouth swollen from kissing 

"Hmm?"i hummed, he leaned forward to catch my mouth again, i moaned quietly, letting go of his hands to touch his neck. He brought his knees up, pushing me down against his hard on gently. I pushed back abd he moaned, flipping us over. I grinned as he pinned my hands down. 

"Gerards a dom"i smirked and he snorted, kissing my jaw before my neck; biting down and i gasped, 

"Fuck"i whispered and he moaned, pushing down the collar of my tshirt to my shoulder. I gasped and shut my eyes, feeling the wetness between my legs. He moved my hands above my head so he could pin them with one hand, trailing the other down my body, he ran it up my thigh, into my baggy boxer leg so he could dig his nails into mg ass and i moaned, bucking forward against him. He moved it around to the front, his thumb a hard pressure against my thigh

"Don-"i groaned as his fingers ran down my pubic hair 

"Want me to stop, frankie?"

He moved to look at me and i whined 

"I dont know?"i offered and he pulled his hand out, kissing me softly 

"Im not going to push you"he whispered 

"I can do you?"i whispered 

"No, its okay"he whispered, touching my cheek with his thumb before kissing me again lightly. He got off me, lying on his stomach and i rolled over to press my face into his shoulder and wrap me arm around his waist 

"Sorry"i whispered and he snorted 

"You dont have anything to be sorry for Frankie"he whispered softly and i kissed his shoulder 

"You have to tell me when your not comfortable with that kind of stuff okay?"he whispered and i nodded, lying my head next to his on the pillow and hooking our feet together, i pressed a kiss to his lips and he grinned 

"Im okay with alot of things just uh not there yet i think?"i whispered and he nodded 

"Thats okay frank"he whispered softly and i bit my lip 

"You should let me though"i whispered and he shook his head, bringing a hand up to rub circles onto my scalp. I shut my eyes and sighed happily 

"Im not that sort of person, Frankie"he whispered and a kiss was pressed to my cheek 

"Want to try the mall today again? Youre doing better"he whispered 

"Okay"i hummed and opened my eyes to look at him 

"Try without the earphones?"

I nodded and he grinned 

"Come on, i think i smell coffee"he hummed and got up, 

"Be up in a minute G"

He nodded and smiled, going upstairs. I got up and pushed off my wet boxers, pulling on my jeans and then changing into my binder and hoodie. I walked upstairs, sitting down across for gerard and pouring cereal. 

"Mikeys away to get almond milk"he hummed and i nodded, taking a mputhful of coffee. Mikey set down the milk a few minutes later 

"Thanks mikeyway"i hummed, opening it up

"Guys about yesterday, i wont mention it to anyone okay? Im sorry, i feel so bad about it, frank could have smashed his head"

"It was an accident, i should have locked the door"i shrugged 

"I promise ill knock next time?"he offered 

"It was just a rough day yesterday, ive never climbed into gerards seat before and i probably wont again, chill"i said and he hummed 

"So youre together then?how long?"

Gerard smiled at me 

"Few days"he said and mikey hummed 

"Good for you guys, frank wont have to cuddle with me anymore"

I snorted 

"Hey i need my cuddles Mikeyway"i whispered and he snorted, shrugging 

"You guys going to the mall? I want to get my nose pierced"mikey said 

"Oh man me too, i wonder how much i have in my bank"

Gerard snorted 

"Yeah were going soon"Gerard hummed before getting uo and clearing his dishes. I grabbed his wrisf as he walked past and he paused

"Okay?"he whispered taking a step closer, i jodded reaching up to grip his top and pull him down for a kiss

"Youre one of those couples ugh"mikey snorted and i grinned letting go, Gerard went downstairs

"you and ray huh?"i smirked and mikeys eyes got wide 

"Howd you know?"

"Magic mikey way. Happy for you"i grinnrd 

"What happens if one of us breaks up and then the group has to choose?"he asked 

"Mikey hes already paranoid shut up"gerard said sitting down to put his boots on

"Wed have to choose?"

"Yeah"

I frowned over at gerard 

"Nobody is planning on breaking up, lets forget about it"he said and i frowned more. 

"Lets go"he hummed and i nodded, walking out to light a smoke 

"Stop over thinking"

I whined and turned round to press my face into his chest 

"Hard not too"

An hour later, me and mikey had our nose pierced and gerard went into the art store. I rolled my eyes at Josh smirking 

"Missed you, G"he hummed and Gerard nodded, picking up a paintbrush and running it against his hand. 

"So theres a gig on saturday, me, you and rock music, sound good?"Josh said

"Busy"Gerard hummed leaning over to rub a paintbrush on my face 

"Does that feel soft?"

I nodded and he hummed doing it with a different one

"Spikey"i whispered

"And this?"he ran a thin one along my jaw 

"Soft"i whispered 

"Okay, good"he hummed

"If your busy saturday what about tonight?"

"Dude take a fucking hint"i snapped and josh snorted 

"Youre like 15 let the adults talk"josh said and gerard frowned 

"Adult? Fucjing adult? You may aswell get your tiny fucking cock out and jack it whenever hes around, its pathetic and disgusting and-"

Gerard was kissing me suddenly, his hands going to my neck. I kissed back, raising a fingers behind Gerards back at Josh. Mikey snorted as Gerard pulled back 

"Now everyone shut up, does this feek soft frankie?"

He ran one with sharp brissles across my face

"Feels cheap and hurts"i said and he hummed

"Hes a kid gerard thats weird"

Gerard didnt even flinch 

"Hes 18"he shrugged before taking the brushes to the counter.

"I can give you better than that dweb can"josh said and gerard snorted 

"Doubt it, 5 brushes 10 each theres 50, ring it up after"he grabbrd the brushes and put them in Mikeys backpack, taking my hand to pull me out 

"Fucking asshole man fuck"i groaned

"Theres always going to be assholes who point out out the age difference"he hummed and i sighed 

"Its only a few years"

"6"gerard said and i shrugged, the noise finally filtered into my brain, the talking and walking and the music coming from different shops. I gripped onto Gerards hand

"Youre okay hey hey"gerard stopped walking to turn to me 

"Focus on me"he whispered 

"Is frank okay?"mikey asked 

"Gimmie your headphones"he said as i started to breath quick, my lungs didnt feel big enough fot my body before my hood was pushed down and headphones placed on my head, music filled my ears and i sighed, closing my eyes. Soft hands gripped my neck before i openrd my eyes to looked into Gerards. I nodded and sighed. He let go to take my hand pulling me out to the car

"You did good baby"gerard whispered and i shook my head, gerard lit a cigarette for me 

"Here frank"

I took it 

"I didnt know it was that bad"mikey whispered and i shrugged 

"Getting worse"i whispered 

"No youre getting better, you walked in without earphones"he smiled and i shrugged

"Josh threw you off its okay"he whispered 

"Can we go home?"i asked

"Yes Frankie"he smiled before starting the car 

"Drop me off at Rays"mikey hummed and gerard nodded. By the time we got home i curled up onto Gerards bed, shoving my face into the pillow. Gerard got in next to me, 

"Come here "he whispered and i moved over, curling up on top of him 

"Such an idiot"i whisperes and he pressed a soft kiss to my forehead 

"My idiot"he whispered and i snorted, pressing my nose to his jaw.

_2 months later_

"Oh"Mom whispered and i pulled away from the kiss to look at the open door 

"Mom"i said and she frowned 

"Frank hes 24!"she groaned 

"Boys like one thing at that age, and youre not ready for it!"she said 

"Linda, fuck"Gerard said 

"Is it a lie?"she raised an eyebrow 

"Ofcourse it fucking is. Ive never pressured Frank into anything!"he snapped 

"Hey hey, can you go and pick me up at 8?"i whispered and he sighed, nodding befire walking out of my room

"Its gerard mom; why are you being so judgemental?"

"Because youre a child!"

"Im 19"i sighed 

"If you want to live here, you stop seeing him"

I raised an eye 

"Fine"i got up and grabbed my backpack 

"What are you doing?"

"Leaving"i shrugged and packed my clothes with a single push, shoving them down inti the bag before i grabbrd my guitar 

"You did this remember"i said walking past a shocked mom, running down the stairs and out the front door as gerard was pulling out. He frowned and i opened the door shoving the things in the back 

"Ive been kicked out"

He sucked in a breath and pulled away from the curb

"What did she say?"

"If i wanted to live there i couldnt see you"i said and he groaned, covering his face with one hand. We pulled up at Gerards and i followed him into the kitchen 

"Frank!"she smiled 

"Can he move in here?"

She friwned 

"What happened?"

"Linda started saying i only wanted sex and all, and then told him if he seen me he couldnt live there"he said opening two beers

"Moms an asshole"i took a drink and he sighed

"Ofcourse you can live here"Donna hugged me tightly and i sighed 

"Thank you"

"Go unpack, ill make dinner" she hummed and i nodded going downstairs to put my stuff down and lying on thebbed 

"I never got to shower"i sighed 

"Shower here frank, ill make sure noone even goes near the door okay?"

I sighed 

"Later when everyones sleeping"

He hummed and kissed my shoulder

It was two weeks later that i was crouched, searching through my bag before groaning

"Babe?"gerard whispered turning on the lamp

"Whats wrong?"he asked and i looked down into the bag 

"Got my period, got nothing"i mumblrd after a few seconds. Gerard rubbed his eyes 

"Ill go to the shop"he yawned, getting up to pull on jeans. 

"Sorry"

"Hey dont worry, what do i get?"

"Tampons"i whispered and he ruffled my hair, walking upstairs. By the time gerard came back i hadnt moved

"Here, you okay?"

I nodded and took the box, getting up to go into the bathroom. When i was finished Gerard was in bed again and he held up a hot water bottle

"That helps right?"

I nodded and got in, pressing it to my stomach and sighing as he wrapped his arms around me tightly before i fell asleep again. When i woke up, gerard was painting and smoking, 

"Morning G"

"Hey frankie"he hummed and put down the paintbrush to get into bed. I winced at his cold arm shuffling closer so i could press my face against his neck 

"I love you"i whispered. He brought his hand inti my hair 

"Yeah?"he whispered 

"Yeah"i nodded and pressed closer

"I love you too"he hummed softly, kissing my head. I snuggled closer, not letting go until our stomachs rumbled. 

_1 week later_

"Where is everyone?"i sat on gerards lap in the living room 

"Work mikeys at rays"

"I want you to touch me"

He sucked in a breath and i grinned

"Come to bed"i whispered, picking his beer up as i got up to take a drink. He followed me down before i kissed him deep, backing him up against the door. He growled and turned us round, pinning me there as he shoved his tongue in. I moaned and gasped feeling his fingers spread over my bare hip

"Get the fuck on the bed"he whispered, nipping at my neck before stepping back. I lay down, grinning as he climbed on top of me, pulling him down to kiss me. It was ages before he finally got off, breaking the kiss as his hand ran down just under my waist band. This is where it always stopped, a roung make out session with dominent G before he pulled away.

"Sure baby?"

I watchdd his hand before nodding 

"Yes"i said and he moaned, kissing my neck to slide his hand down. I spread my legs and he sucked in a breath at the first touch

"So wet for me frankie"he whispered and i gasped siftly

"Ive never...you know? Tell me what feels good baby"he whipered and i pushed my hand down my boxers, moving this fingers to press against my clit. He moaned and kissed me before he started rubbing gently, i let go of my grip on his hand, moving to push two fingers inside myself 

"Holy fucking shit"he whispered as i moaned, spreading my legs wider for him

"Youre so fucking hot frankie, shit get you boxers off i wanna eatch you"

I kicked them off without thinking spreading my legs agajn as i slipped my fingers back inside. He moved his fingers down to push one in along side my two and i groaned, pulling my fingers oug as he took over

"Gee oh my god"i moaned and he kissed my shoulder

"So tight baby, want me to fill you up baby? Shove my cock in your virgin little hole?"

I moaned and nodded

"Yeah gee"i whined and he bit my shoulder harder 

"Fuck me please"i whined ans he moaned, pulling his hand away to push up my top, i let it be pulled off, doing the same to him before he crawled between my legs 

"You still on the pill right?"

I nodded quicklg, pulling him down to kiss me before he rubbed himself against me, i gasped as he pushed the head in, then thrust in slowly. He moaned loudly, breaking the kiss to press our foreheads together, his eyes eere shut with his lips parted, i ran my fingers down his back before he pulled out and thrust in again making me moan. He started moving quickly, pushing my hands up to above my head. I looked up at him before he brought a hand to my neck, pushing lightly until i pushed forward, moaning. He leaned forward to bite my jaw before pressing harder until i gripped his wrist as my breath got tight. He let go, pressing soft kissed where his hand was before moving it down to rub mu clit, making me loose it and thrash against his hands 

"Yes yes yes!"i cried before i was squirting over him. He moaned and bit my neck before pulling out to shuffle up my chest, he held my hands above my head as  i opened my mouth, letting him spill over my tongue and face. He moaned, pushing his dick between my lips to thrust himself through it. I took it all, looking up at him thriugh my eyelashes before his body was twitching and he pulled away, falling to the side of me. I grabbed the blankets to pull over us before turning onto my stomach like him and throwing my arm over his waist. I wiped my face on the pillow before turning my head to look at him, he opened his eyes and grinned at me

"Fucking love you"he whispered 

"Love you too"i leaned forward to peck his lips. He rolled over to grab his smokes, sitting up to light them. I sat up and took the one he held out to me, holding the blankets to my chest. I leaned into him and he put his arm over my shoulders, kissing my forehead 

"Okay?"he whispered 

"Sore, but okay"i hummed 

"Good boy"he hummed and i took a drag 

"Youre showering gerard"i said and he groaned 

"Im clean!"

"I came alk over your stomach!"

He smirked and i blushed 

"Probably should have warned you im a squirter"

He grinned and kissed my forehead 

"Not showering im dry now"

I rolled my eyes and flicked the ash into the ash tray 

"Worth the wait?"i said and he grinned 

"So worth it"he whispered 

"Compared to bert, was i worse?"

He snorted 

"Its different with you, physically and mentally babe, you dont gotta ask that"

"So no?"

"So yes, everything is better with you"he whispered and i grinned. I put out my cigarette before gerard got up, pulling on his boxers 

"Look what i got"he hummed ruffling in his drawer before holding a bag of weed 

"Ugh yes"i said, reaching for it but he held it up

"Why are you being weird ive seen your body"he said and i blushed 

"Different now"

"No its not"he hummed but threw me the bag and papers, i ripped open one of his cigarettes to roll. I rolled two before gerard threw me a hoodie and boxers, i pulled them on under the blankets befire getting up to kiss him , he grinned pushing up my hood before i followed him upstairs.  We sat on the steps as i lit up, moaning at the taste before pressing our knees together.

"Youre my favourite"i whispered

"Would be weird if i wasnt, gorgeous"he grinned before wrapping an arm around his shoulder as i passed him the joint. 

"You think ill ever be normal?"

"You are normal"he whispered

"Not really"i whispered looking out to the sky 

"Every inch of you is beautiful okay?" He whispered and i grinned 

"Okay"i whispered and took the joint 

"We get high so much shit"i said 

"Cotton mouth ugh"gerard got up to go into the kitchen, returning with a bottle of water. I took a long mouthful and sighed, leaning back to lay on the grass. Gerard lay his head on my chest and a leg around my knees, holding me down. I let out a shaky breath

"It feels really good when you pin me, like not sexually you know?"i asked 

"I know, you like being in tight spaces, cant get any tighter"he whispered and i hummed, relaxing into it 

"Ever wonder what it would have been like if we never met?"i whispered 

"Sometimes, id still be in New york"he whispered 

"Id still be a woman"i whispered back and he looked at me

"You would have figured it out"he whispered 

"You explained it to me, you bought me my firsy fucking binder g, shit"i breathed and he grinned 

"You be you Frankie"he whispered and i nodded

"I never thanked you for any of it, did i?"i whispered

"Youre here, you dont got to thank me"he whispered softly.

_6 months later_

I unlocked the door to me and Gerards apartment, carrying the shopping bags and kicking the door shut 

"Hey"gerard grabbed the bags off me

"How was work?"

3 months ago i got a job in a tattoo studio as an assistant, mainly bookings and cleaning but i was getting friendly with the piercer, hoping hed teach me.

"Work was good"i smiled and he kissed my forehead. I started to pack away the shopping, grabbing two beers before sitting on the sofa next to Gerard and running my fingers up his arm, i snuggled close as we watched a movie, running my hands over any piece of skin i could

"Mikey came over"

"Yeah?"i hummed

"Him are Ray are moving in together next year, he wanted me to help him save"

"Saving sucks"i whispered, remembering how for three months we survived on robbing mikey or donnas cigarettes, not being able to buy weed or alcohol because all we did was put our wages into our moving out jar. When we smashed it open, we had over 4 thousand dollars and had enough for the first few months of rent in a little shitty two bed apartment. But it was ours and we were happy. 

"Im glad we did it tho"

I grinned and squished my face into his shoulder 

"Me too babe"i whispered and he kissed my head

"You want to go to bed baby?"

I nodded and got up, turning off the TV to go into our room. I stripped before pulling on one of G tshirts and got into bed. Gerard yawned as he came in

"Locked the front door?"

"Yeah babe"he pushed off his jeans and tshirt before getting into bed. I curled up onto his chest, spreading my hand over his stomach 

"Gimmie a kiss frankie"he whispered and i leaned up to kiss him. He smiled softly and i kissed his neck once before closing my eyes. I woke up to my stomach heaving before i was gagging, running into the bathroom to throw up. I coughed and wiped my mouth with tissue

"Baby you okay?"

I looked up at a sleepy gerard before throwing up again. My eyes caught rhe unopen tampon box before i leaned back

"Shit im late"i said 

"Late for what? Its like 3 am"he whispered 

"Late late"i said, pointing to the tampons and flushing the toilet 

"Oh"he whispeted and helped me up until i brushed my teeth 

"How late?"

"I dont know, what dates it?"

"Like the 24th of may"

I sucked in a breath, going into the bedroom to look at my tracking app.

"March 3rd was my last"i whispered 

"Oh, oh shit"he breathed 

"How the fuck did i not realise?"i said and he breathed out a breath 

"We were just getting settled and shit, plus its been busy as hell"he whispered sitting down next to me in the bed 

"Gerard i cant have a kid"i whispered, his hand slid into mine 

"You dont want to keep it?"he whispered and i sighed 

"I dont know, shit G"i whispered

"Weve only moved in! Were still newish and last week we couldnt afford cereal!"

"That was a bad week"he whispered and i sighed 

"Babys are hard"i whispered 

"Yes"he breathed out and i turned to look at him 

"Fuck"i whispered and he sighed softly, touching my cheek before his phone started to ring. He frowned and grabbed it 

"Hello?...........ill be right there"

He hung up and rubbed his eyes 

"Babe?"i whispered 

"Its Mikey. He tried to kill himself"he whispered, already up and pulling on his clothes

"What?"i said 

"Come the fuck on get dressed!"he said before he started crying. I hugged him tightly, standing up on my toes to kiss his jaw 

"Come on ill drive"i whispered pulling on jeans and grabbing his phone and keys. We walked to the car quickly, getting in. He chewed on his nails as i drove quickly, jumping out infront of the hospital so i could park. By the time i walked inyo the hospital, i had no clue where to go 

"Mikey way?"i asked 

"Family?"

"Brother in law"i nodded 

"Room 36, 3rd floor"

I nodded and ran up the stairs, finding the room before opening the door to Ray crying against Gerard as mikey lay motionless on the bed

"What happened?"i whispered

"I dont knoe, we were fine! He seemed a bit down and asked to go home, i shouldnt have let him"Ray cried 

"Its not your fault"i whispered, Gerard was pale and looked emotionless, staring over at Mikeys bed

"Alright, ill get some coffee okay?"i said before lwaving, taking a deep breath as i stood outside the door. 4 coffees later i walked back to the room, Donna was there gripping mikeys hand and i quietly handed out the drinks. Sitting down on the floor 

"He took my pills"Gerard breathed out and i looked at him 

"I left a bottle at home, a spare incase we stayed over or something, fuck"he groaned and i held out my hand. He took it and rubbed his thumb over mine 

"Hell be okay"

"Yeah"he whispered, a man came into the room and Gerard stood up

"The fuck you doing here?"he growled and i frowned 

"Hes my son"the man said and i gasped, Gerards father had walked out when gerard was 8, never returning.

"Hes not your son"gerard growled and the man sighed 

"Shut up, Gerard"the man sighed 

"Donald"donna nodded 

"How is he?"

"Stable"she mumbled. I climbed into gerards lap, pressing my face to his neck

"Relax"i whispered and he sighed

"Long ass night"

"You bet" i whispered and sighed deeply. 

"Is this your girlfriend?"Donald said and i cringed

"Boyfriend. Frank"Donna said and he frowned at me before looking away. 

"Gonna puke"i covered my mouth before going into the joining bathroom. I groaned as i finished, sitting back to look at Gerard. 

"Youre burning up"he whispered and i wiped my mouth, flushing the toilet. He helped me up and back to the chair, sitting down to pull me into his lap

"Okay Frank?"

I nodded 

"Must of ate something dodgy"i mumbled before gerards fingers ran circles on my stomach. 

"Im okay"i whispered and he kissed my forehead. I got up when a doctor came in, 

"We got to it in time. Hell recover"

I let out a breath i didnt realise i was holding 

"He'll be admitted to the pysciatric hospital when he recovers"

Donna nodded and sighed

"Any mental illness run in the family?"

"Depression, anxiety"Gerard mumbled 

"Close family?"

"Brother"Gerard said 

"My mother was bipolar"donna said and the doctor nodded 

"Okay. He should wake soon"he nodded before turning to leave, glancing at me leaning against the wall 

"Sir? You okay?"

A light was pushed past my eyes and i groaned, shutting my eyes. 

"Going to takw your tempature"a thing was pressed in my ear before beeping 

"42 sir, when did it start?"

"An hour ago"i whispered before he pressed his fingers to my wrist

"Its doubke what it should be,sit sit"

Gerard got up so i could sit down 

"Sir; what are your syptoms?"

"Pregnancy"Gerard admitted befire the doctors eyes got wide 

"Ring the alarm"the doctor said quickly

"Whats wrong with him?"gerard whispered 

"Not sure yet"

Nurses and doctors filled in the room before i was lay on the sofa 

"Weve no beds"

My top was shoved up and hands pressed in 

"Fuck"i sucked in a breath 

"Etopic, about to burst. Get a theater ready and bring an ultrasound"

"How far along is he? Last period?"

"Start of march, what does an etopic mean?"Gerard said 

"The babys in the wrong place"the doctor said before a nurse rushed in with a machine. The next few minutes passed in a blur until a monitor was pressed into my stomach. 

"Oh, cancel theater"the doctor said 

"Whats wrong?"i gasped 

"Youre having twins sir, but youre also have a tilted uterus and a large cist on your ovarie"

"Ive got cancer?!"i gasped 

"No, its not a tumor"he said 

"Pregnancy is going to be hard on your body"he admitted before wiping down my stomach

"Wait fucking twins?"i snapped as i sat up

"Yes. 14 weeks"

I glanced at Gerard who looked pale 

"Its to late for an abortion, so we will do our best to manage your pain"The doctor said and Gerard sucked in a breath

"How havent i noticed until now? We litreally figured it out like a few hours ago"

"Sometimes its not obvious. Ill check in on both of you in an hour"he said before leaving. I could feel everyone staring at me, but i looked up at gerard 

"Shit i need a smoke"he breathed 

"Me too"i whispered and he helped me up, walking out of the room without a word. I had a throbbing pain in my side, gripping onto gerard as i walked until we sat on a bench outside.

"Twins"he echoed and i sighed, leaning into him and lighting a cigarette 

"Im sorry"i whispered

"Not your fault"he hummed 

"Everybody knoes because my bodys an asshole"i whispered and he smiled 

"You gotta quit your job, we gotta move to a house, we gotta earn more money"he whispered and i sighed

"Fuck"

He kisses me softly 

"Im here every step of the way, and ill never fucking leave okay?"

"Okay"i whispered and he sighed. Gerard got a text 

"M awake"from ray 

"You okay to make it back?"

I nodded before Gerard took of running. When i made it to the room, gerard was crying into mikeys hand and i climbed onto the bed without a word, throwing my arm over Mikeys waist 

"Youre an ass"i said

"Yeah"mikey replied softly. I kissed his cheek 

"Dont ever leave us"i whispered and he hummed softly 

"Can everyone give me a minute with Ray?'

I climbed off the bed and followed everyone out to the hall 

"Kids"Donna breathed 

"Yeah"Gerard whispered

"Take these fir your temoature and pain, ot allergic to anything?"

"Lactose"i said

"Its okay"the doctor nodded and i took the jar and water, taking them before he walked on.

"You guys not know what protection is?"Donald said 

"Not really youre problem because if you come near my kids, ill fucking kill you"Gerard growled 

"G-"

"No! He destoryed my childhood! Every morning we woke up to yoys two fighting, so bad that me and Mikey use to sneak out to franks and you never fucking noticed! I was 7!"he shouted and Donna flinched 

"Atleast mom didnt abandon us in the middle of the night without a fucking goodbye!"he added and i gripped onto his arm, groanjng quietly at my stomach clenched 

"Baby?"he breathed 

"Im okay"i whispered and he sighed 

"Im not fighting anymore because he doesnt need the stress, but once you leave again, you stay the fuck away from us"he growled before knocking on mikeys door to go back in

"Try travel bands baby, they helped me"donna whispered and i nodded 

_10 years later_

"You girls stay next to me, alright?"i said, letting go of their hands to grab a trolly. 

"Hey girls"

I looked at Mikey 

"Hey man, sup?"

"Shopping, who wants to come help me and give daddy sime peace?"

"Love you mikey way"

He grinned 

"I can take them to mine? We miss the maggots"

"Ugh yes"i grinned and he snorted 

"Ill drop them home later"

I nodded

"Be good for uncle mikey!"

By the time i got home and unpacked, Gerard walked in the front door and frowned 

"Theyre to quiet"he said and i snorted 

"At Mikeys babe"i hummed and he grinned, pulling me over to the sofa. I curled up on his lap, yawning quietly 

"I missed you, how was work?"

He kissed my head 

"Good babe, how was the girls?"

I shrugged

"Mikey took them at 11 so"i smiled and he kissed me softly 

"When they going to be home?"

"I dont know, race you to the bedroom and have loud sex for once?"

He laughed and kissed my head 

"Sounds good to me babe"

I stared at my husband on 4 years, grinning wide as i got up, pulling him up too. 

"Fucking love you"i whispered

"Love you more"he hummed, cupping my face between his hands before pressing a soft kiss to my lips. 


End file.
